Emo day!!

Saturday(26/8/2007)

So many things happen! i wanna say so many things at the same time!
Went to tutor my cousin today...didnt turn out too well...
Not the teaching part is the pre- teaching!
Hai, apparently my cousin got veri lousy grades...then my aunt veri angry!
She scolded/quarrel with my cousin again!

So What's the big deal?
Having been brought up in a family where respect for parents/those of higher authority is impt, it's jus too tramuatisin for me....

So here it goes!
My aunt claim that my cousin used her phone & connect to the internet using the dial up cable to surf the net!
Firstly, who use cable n connect to the phone de?? also no modem...can like tat de meh??? Secondly, it is claimed that the software she use is nokia something suite...
tat one hacking software meh???
So my aunt threw everything that has to do with the phone's software+manual away!!

You might ask, surf net only mah?
My cousin is practically banned from internet by my aunt(she locks it with password)... banned from slacking around with her friends? No msn, no email...nthing...maybe only for doing project & assignments....partly becos of her poor grades...

I dun live with my cousin...so i cant judge...but...wad i noe is...she seldom gets to use the net since young... so resort to log on secretly loh! hai, it pains my heart...because my aunt is veri strict & tough on her...she has to report where she is all the time...kind of like on probation... I dun if i could even take this kind of pressure...i dun think i can!

So wad started all this nonsense... cos my cousin got back her test grades...too lan liao... so her mom check up on her....n realised she got connected to the net when my aunt is not at home... checks her msn log...deleted all her contacts...call her bf & tell him she chatted with many other guys & i think warn him not to find my cousin again ba... Hai...toki bout privacy....it's not even bout that...more like basic respect? Seriously, i feel that the secret loginin in to the net in my cousin case is her fault...but at least there should be still some form of respect even to a human being? even if you are the parent & have all authority...
(Ephesians 6:4 Fathers(in this case, parents), do not exasperate(anger) your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord )...
why i'm tramatised? My cousin is so angry that she cried, sob & kept Screaming: "you will regret it next time...i will leave this home...you also chat online with guys + all the vulgarities you can find..." the look of her eyes...like those of a murderer!
(Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth)... i will feel guilty everytime after i quarrel with my parrents, it jus didnt feel good...but my cousin....there wasnt an inch of regret!!
You might say...quarrelin is normal...but to quarrel in this manner with yr mother for almost 15yrs...its not normal! i feel like sending the whole family for counsellin!!!!

Then, like mother like daughter...my aunt scream back: "i started only 1 month ago & it's jus chatting & exchanging sms....dun think i dun noe who chat for at least half a year...jus that i pretend only...you think i stupid....you think like yr father go find prositute...go f*** other women...+ all the i nvm hear b4 combinations of vulgarities!!!!"

i was siting & hearin all these crazy, rude conversation...for almost 15 mins... tell me how can i not cry?? I haven even STARTED my tutorin!!! Hai, i have to calm my cousin down...it took me almost 20-30 mins to talk to her...So many things i wanted to tell her...so many things that i felt i should teach/tell her...even thou i have limited experience as a person of 20yrs... but i feel veri sad that she has to grow up in an enviroment of distrust/totally no form of positive encouragement...

I'm not tryin to say bad things bout my aunt...but...being in a broken marriage & havin a elder daughter gettin pregnant before marriage....the amt of pressure my aunt has to go thru is all transfered to her younger daughter...the fear of losing another daughter...there was so much disbelief... She totally lose trust in her daughters! She commented this: "why other ppl's daughters are good daughters & mine are the bad ones!" How hurtfully would it be for a daughter to hear those words from her mother's mouth? Plus my cousin wasnt veri academically incline, my aunt 认定 my cousin to be turning bad...hai...but tutoring my cousin allows me to noe how poor her foundation is & i feel that she has a better attitude in learining than my sis...by not showing me the "please get to the point & cut the crap" face(my sis does tat)

After tution, i reflected on wad had happen...I was so grateful for my parents that athought their relationship has up & downs too...they didnt give up to anger & violence...That is how much the word of God can do...my mom has her fair share of dissatisfaction too...but the word kept her in peace...So i read the bible too...when i was on the train...when i was nearly on the verge of crying....because it's jus too painful to watch my loved ones fight like there is no tml...so God brought me to the book of ephesians...It showed me i shouldnt even let anger to take over me even as a witness to this disturbing event...felt so much calm after that...

Haha...this must be my longest & most crude post!

FireUp!

Long time since i write...hmmm...got alot inbtw events...but not going to post pics for the fireworks...haha...since i didnt bring my cam!!! sian diao! haha...but the fireworks is nice/super duper nice...my first time watchin live other than NDP in sec 1 = didn't get to see much cos performing... I like the 3-D effect...but too bad it couldn't last...haha but i still got a bottle of starz thou :)

Yeah! and maybe some of you didnt realise! i ran bare footed across the raffles underpass... running madly behind for the 5 min Last train!!!! Haha...wad an experience man! can you imagine how frictionless my shoes are? is like ice skating loh! haha...

(meant to be posted like last week?)

Sushi & Swings!!!

Haha...dunnoe why keep having cravings now adays... hmmm... maybe slack at home too long le... Anyway...Lookin forward to eatin more sushi!!! haha...If got buffet even better...but sian leh...only weekdays got...argh!!!

Yeah...&& Swings!!! It's like close to extinction loh!!! how can they do tat??? Haha...tat was my favourite childhood past time... use to stay in toa payoh...got many swing + good slides!!! Not those plastic ones!!! Hmmm...if only s'pore got more land...then can bulid a swing in the backyard....haha....

Emotional Swing

Sometimes when you get to busy with life...you miss out on a lot of 'quiet time' to reflect bout the day...Haha...I'm dreaming...if only i can sit on the swing with a cup of hot chocolate....swinging lightly and allow the wind to jus blow against your face as you reflect bout the day's work :)..... Shuang Sia...haha....

Or when you are fustrated....you can jus swing violently, as fast as you like, as high as you like, haha...at least wont 不小心发泄 yr anger on anyone!! At most jus fly out of the swing & land up in the hospital...haha...aiya...i not so violent de...i scared of pain de...

Or when you are feeling down/sad...The wind from the moving swing can atleast keep those tears from flowin down...haha...cos being blow away liao!!